Wednesday, December 17, 2008

There is Enough for Everyone

I'm coming up on my 35th birthday here any day now. I am excited about turning 35, the 30s have really been good years for me thus far. I'm feeling as good as ever, strong, sexy, sensitive, simpler, sillier, sassier, surer (not sure if surer is a word or not, but I'm going with it, it starts with an s...and what that has to do with anything, I'm not sure, or surer.)
Anyways, I had one of those great moments today driving to work...which by the way, I don't have to do everyday. I have had to go to "work" the last 2 days, from 8:30 to 4, which has felt good for me, hasn't been a drag or anything, it's just made me really grateful that I don't have to do this everyday, or 5 days a week, or even 1 day every week. I realize how much free time I have, how much slower my life has become since having Willis and quitting my job at the lung association. It's a slow pace we travel at, our life is full, there is nothing dull about it, we just have the freedom to take our time when we need to (which is good, when you are the mother of a dawdler or gawker). I've just been struck by the contrast of what else it could be like and reminded to be presently aware of how good it really is right now, even if we don't have as much money as we would if I was doing this every single day. My time is worth more than money, I know that is true for me, without a doubt. But, back to my drive...I had just dropped Willis off at my dad's and was cruising down the road, when that loud voice of the Divine spoke to me...THERE IS ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE, EVEN YOU! I laughed out loud, I've spent the better part of my 35 years looking at life with the lens of not having enough, not being good enough, not feeling loved enough, understood enough...basically just feeling like I didn't have enough. Today, I was finally enlightened...I get it. You can't always get what you want...but you get what you need....ah...feels good.