Happy New Year

I've been in a quieter, reflective space, winter hibernation mode, you might call it.  I've spent more time reading, journaling, writing (pen and paper style).  I have been looking at what it is that I want to cultivate in this new year, where I want to focus my energy and attention.  I'm not big on new years resolutions, I truly see each day as an opportunity to resolve to do better the next day.  At the end of each day, or at least most days, I take a moment or two to reflect and consider whether or not I lived the day well, at the right pace, my own pace.  Did I find time to play?  Did I laugh with my kids?  Did my husband feel especially loved?  Did I extend kindness and compassion to those I came in to contact with?  Did I speak truthfully and honestly?  Did I practice non-harm, in my thoughts, speech and actions? Did I leave the world a little better place than I found it today?  Was I a good friend? Some days the questions are easy to answer and other days not.  Some days pass by so quickly, I have a hard time remembering particulars about them.  Other days have moments, simple moments of truth, that will stand out in my memory for days, weeks, maybe even a lifetime.
In my yoga study, I came across this quote the other day... "how we behave toward others and our environment reveals our state of mind..." It spoke to me. I find my interactions with others, such a reflection of the calm or fury I feel inside. It seems obvious enough, but how often do we sit back and observe our interactions with others and think "wow, I am really embodying the essence of my true nature right now, I am teaching peace by example"?  If you are like me, rarely. Every now and then, I find myself, surprised by grace, truly immersed in the beauty of a moment.  For whatever reason we often do otherwise. We act out of fear, jealousy, frustration, desire, attachment, grasping, trying to hold on to the way things are, when they inevitably always change...the list is endless. It is only when we sit quietly, keenly alert, at the center of ourselves, that we can operate from this place of beauty. I have witnessed people in my life recently (including myself) interact with others from a place that is less than pure, the opposite of graceful. As I watch (myself sometimes), I wonder, what is it that keeps us from being the very best version of ourselves, all the time. What is it that makes us speak sharply to a stranger, ignore another's needs, think our omissions of truth are not exactly lies? It fascinates me, and not from a judgemental place, I am just as human as the next being. I do believe that at our essence, we are all good, but our tendency is to stray from that and I am not sure why? I guess this is probably one of the age old questions and for whatever reason I seem to be contemplating it right now.  My hope for this new year is not that I will be any less human or any more perfect, but that I will find more moments of beauty, grace, compassion, simplicity and pure love.  I hope that you will, too.
Happy New Year