Paying Attention

One might ask the question...why do I always start blogging 15 minutes before I need to wake up my napping cherubs (they are the sweetest when they are sleeping, aren't they?) to dash out to pick up Ruby from school.  Maybe that is the only way I ever get a blog entry done, to have a deadline.  14 minutes and counting.
I read this quote yesterday in my yoga class, "What you pay attention to becomes your experience."  I am not sure who wrote it or where the quote came from, but it struck a mighty chord with me.  I have been trapped a bit in a negative pattern of speaking without intention.  Many moons ago, I read a book on Toltec Wisdom, you've probably heard of it, The Four Agreements.  They are simple truths about how to live your life.  I can usually only ever pull out 3 of the 4 at any given time and we'll see what I can come out with today... Always do your best.  Never make assumptions.  Be impeccable with your words....Looks like today I can only pull out 3.  Sorry folks.  Anyways, the one about being impeccable with your words has always stuck with me.  It made me pause and think about what we put out into the world with our words.  Somewhere, this was described about using words as a force for light and healing in the world, or like a poison, fueling darkness.  I would like, of course, to be the force for light and healing in the world, not some poison spewer.  But, I am human, no?  I find myself at times making assumptions about what motivates another person's actions, taking it personally, at times, when in actuality it may have nothing to do with me and may have everything to do with their own "stuff" (that is the 4th one, Don't take things personally.)
So, back to paying attention...my husband and I had a conversation about this particular idea this morning.  He came to my yoga class yesterday, and perhaps that planted the seed when I read the quote.  I'm not sure, but he brought up an interaction he had, that made him notice another's focus on what isn't positive and good, how the person seemed to pay attention to what was negative or wrong in a situation as opposed to what was good.  It made me pause.  I've been thinking about this about myself.  How when you hear a story about someone that is juicy, let's say, or have an experience of someone that is not favorable, instead of choosing to let that story stop at you and quit feeding the rumor mill, or poison in the world of words, I often retell it.  Not in a way that intends to make trouble, or stir up drama, I'm actually not sure why I retell it.   My husband and I talked about how much better you feel about yourself when you steer clear of those conversations, when you hold back remarks that are less than life giving.  I sometimes feel like I need a reminder, to walk around with a mirror so I can see just what it is that I am reflecting in the world.
So, I am making a commitment today to pay attention to the good stuff, the stuff that brings out the best in people, the stuff that makes people feel happy, loved and good inside.  I am making a commitment to use my words more impeccably and I have a feeling that my experience will begin to reflect something lighter (not that it was dark to start out with, but I am guessing you know what I mean.)
And.... my time is up.  Off to practice my new commitments!