Gifts

Go in search of your Gift.
The more you understand yourself,
the more you will understand the world.
Brida - Paulo Coelho

Oh the struggle of the Self....what is it about our humanity that makes us struggle so. I have been struggling with my Gift. When I stand back and observe myself, I feel certain that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing....being home with my children, teaching yoga and doing the other prevention work I do. When I stop observing and get to caught up in myself, I begin to question what I have to offer, particularly in regards to my yoga teaching. I find myself questioning my abilities as a teacher, feeling insecure and less than confident about what I do. Fortunately, when I am in the moment....okay, so that is backwards of what I just wrote and I think it is when I am doing the observing, rather than being present in the moment, that I begin to over analyze and doubt myself. Now, I'm not sure which it is. Must be the latter, because really finding that union is what the process of yoga is all about. Being in the moment in such a way that you are observing yourself as you are, not observing with all kinds of outer projections and thoughts that aren't really true. We are such funny beings, creating suffering within ourselves unnecessarily. We do it so easily and why, even as I continue to study and learn about such things, what causes this suffering, I still do it. I taught yoga class Wednesday night after spending Tuesday evening discussing this very issue, somehow putting voice to this internal struggle releases it from my mind, takes away the power of it. My class Wednesday night felt like I was in the flow, felt good and right and like I do have a Gift to share and in sharing it feel like I receive a Gift. Why do we hide inside ourselves? Keeping these things to ourselves, feeling vulnerable to expose our true nature. We are all human and on some level we all want and need the same things. To find what our purpose is, why are we here on this earth and what difference do we make in the world....what gift do we have to offer the world. The beauty of it all is that we each have something very unique, no person is exactly like another, and so just by being ourselves we offer a Gift to those around us.