Santosha

Santosad anuttamah sukha-labhah (Contentment brings supreme happiness)
Sutra II.42 Patanjali's Yoga Sutras

Why is it so hard to watch those we love struggle through something? On a heart level it hurts. I know that we have to stand back and watch those around us journey through their own lives, following whatever path they choose, and even knowing that, it seems particularly painful to do it. I don't know if it's watching the suffering that is hard or letting go of not being able to fix something for someone else that is harder. I don't think of myself necessarily as a fixer, but I find that as someone close to me struggles, or is sad, I want to wrap my arms around them and make it all better, to relieve that pain. We all get to choose our path, whether it is an easy one or more difficult one, whether we choose to create suffering for ourselves, or whether we choose to alleviate some of that. It happens everyday, we make these little choices that lead us toward or away from happiness. And truth be told, sometimes we want to sit in the spot that has led us away from happiness. Sometimes it feels good to hurt, to feel the depths of what we are capable of. I guess the problem comes in when we stay stuck there and decide we are attached to that feeling, then it's not so good. Every day is different, every day we get to wake up and choose what we want, how we want to feel about what happens around us. This week I am studying the niyamas, the second limb of the eight limbs of yoga. One of the niyamas is santosha, contentment, not having our inner feelings contingent on what happens around us. Yesterday that was a real struggle for me. Today, there is a sense of relief, as I remind myself that me being discontent because of what is happening in someone else's life is really wasted energy. It's nothing I have control over and it doesn't help their situation any. The best thing I can do is be supportive, listen and stay on my own path toward contentment, so I don't cause a ripple effect in the lives of those around me. The more I study, the more I feel like everything is yoga, everything is about finding that union within ourselves and the world around us. I am beginning to see how interconnected we truly are.
I have a few precious minutes while Willis is still asleep and I can get some things done around the house....giving Sean a clean home to return to this evening will certainly help his contentment, which helps mine.....and so the story goes.