I'm Late, I'm Late

....for a very important date.  No time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.

Sometimes I feel like the white rabbit in such a hurry, going where?  I find myself hurrying the kids along, getting impatient, frustrated with them for taking their time, dilly-dallying on their way to wherever I am herding them to.  And then I say to myself, what is the rush?  What if we get there 2 minutes later, does it really make that much of a difference? 
Once we finally got out the door this morning, I started to consciously breathe and I could feel myself all wound up because we left 5 minutes later than normal.  (We have a quick turn around time from one drop off to the next. It's enough time, there just isn't extra time, especially when we are running late.)  I don't want to be one of those people always hurrying my kids from one place to the next, not giving them time to smell the roses, or say hello and goodbye without them being a part of the same sentence.  We rush around too much in this life anyways, we are so tied to time.  Why don't I just take a breather and slow it the heck down?  So, as we drove to school, I apologized to my kids for being impatient with them as we got out the door, explained that it makes me stressed out, frustrated when they don't get ready in the morning when I ask them to.  I know they don't like feeling rushed and it sets the whole tone for the morning when we start out this way.  Ruby wanted to bring something to share at school and I was scolding her for not getting ready and not available to listen to why she wanted to bring her special huge ruby gem to school.  I don't like who I become in these moments.  I am not the mother I want to be.  I'm thankful that kids are so resilient, they just kind of go with the flow.  When I'm all wound up, they just keep their cool or remind me (directly and indirectly) that I'm not being very nice or patient and we get ourselves back on track. 
I dropped Willis off first and as we were walking out of school, one of the mom's asked me when Ruby has to be at school.  I told her and said "It's a mad dash from one school to the other."  She commented that I don't ever seem like I am in a rush (thank you, because I feel like I am).  It made me pause and slow down.  I may appear put together or calm on the outside and inside I am all a buzz.  I let Ruby play on the toys for a couple of minutes and then headed out to the car with her.  As we loaded up, I saw another mom, a week away from her due date, sitting in her car right next to mine.  I decided I would break my stride and check in with her, see how she is feeling, doing these last days of pregnancy.  I chatted with her for a minute or so and then we made our way to Ruby's school.  We arrived just after the second bell.  Her gracious teacher says, "Don't worry you aren't late, come on in."  Ruby settles in to class and I am out the door.  Our time together during the morning is so brief, couldn't I make it a little more pleasant by letting go of the worries about time? We always make it on time or close to it.  No amount of badgering seems to hurry the kids into getting ready quicker.  I've tried rewards, I've tried routine.  It seems like it is just part of what we work with as parents.  The other day Ruby said, "Mom, do you know that one of the hardest things in life is getting out of bed to go to school when you are still so tired?"  So true.
I'm hoping tomorrow I can slow down, take a deep breath, stop rushing and be on time.  And, if we are late, I will be calm, take a breath and hum that little Alice in Wonderland tune...I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.