Parenthood

My show is on tonight, Parenthood, but that isn't the parenthood I'm going to write about.  My dear husband is out of town tonight, I'm flyin' solo and I'm tired, I'll be lucky to stay up for it tonight. I should be cleaning up the dinner dishes, following up on some work stuff, baking cookies to do something with all that leftover Halloween candy (my newest idea is Peanut Butter Crunch Cookies - as in Crunch bar).  I haven't made Ruby's lunch for tomorrow yet and I have a kink in my neck that is literally a real pain in the neck, but I've been itching to blog, so screw the work, I'm taking a moment here.
I was having a conversation with my friend today about how hard it is to be a parent.  Actually, I was telling her about how tiring it was to crack down on Willis this week and she said, "I always tell myself when I'm doing some thing that is exhausting me as a parent, being a good parent is hard work."  It is so true.  No one tells you before you become one that if you are going to succeed at this, or at least offer your child the best possible springboard to jump from, you are going to work your ass off.  You have to be extremely consistent, dedicated, disciplined, motivated, patient...the list goes on.
Last week was conferences for Ruby's school.  They had half days, out at noon every day.  Willis always gets out at noon and we usually have this leisurely lunch together, he, Elsie and I.  Then I put Elsie down, or not, and Willis takes a rest.  It's usually a pretty uneventful lunch hour, he's tired from school and ready to chill out, he rarely protests about his nap and goes down easy.  Last week, it was another story.  He often had several time outs before nap time, protested or practiced his best stall tactics and by the end of the week he was a bit of a bear.  I have to attribute it to the change in the routine, but who knows, he could have just been having one of those weeks where you are more irritable, edgy, aggressive.  He is a Gemini, maybe the twin was hanging out with us last week, who knows? 
Friday night Sean and I were sitting on the couch after the kids had gone to bed and we ended up watching Super Nanny.  That woman knows her stuff and you can watch how effective it is when people practice what she preaches.  It works.  You just have to set clear boundaries, stay calm, and be consistent.  I was gone all day Saturday and Sunday morning I could tell Papa Bear was in desperate need of a break from the kids.  I saw it as a great opportunity to put into practice what I already know works, from watching Super Nanny and from doing it sometimes, and I just focused on what needs a little shaping up in my parenting.  For starters, I am not always consistent and  I don't always follow through.  I will tell the kids to do the same thing multiple times with no response and so then I get ticked off and raise my voice and then they do it.  Why don't I just tell them once and let them know what the consequences will be if they don't do what I ask the first time?  duh.  Instead of getting royally p'd off at Willis when he gets rough with his sisters or does something naughty, I get down to his level, tell him what he's done wrong and what the consequences are.  He then willingly takes his punishment, and I don't end up dragging him to his time out.  It's great. 
It seems so obvious when I parent well, why the whole thing works.  Why do I get lazy and start slacking on the job?  Probably like most things in life, it takes a lot of self discipline to do what is right.  For whatever reason, our tendency is often to do otherwise.  Even with Sean gone tonight, and having an extra kid in the mix for an hour, I had a very smooth evening.  I did not raise my voice once today with the kids.  I don't think we had any major melt downs.  I felt happy and satisfied putting them to bed and didn't crumple on to the couch with a big sigh, thinking finally, they are in bed.  I actually feel like I still have some energy. 
I'm going to try to stick with the program.  I know it is easier on my kids and its definitely easier on me.  Now, if I could only get the dog to get with the program.....