The Gift That Keeps On Giving

People often ask me "How are you doing? Is it crazy with 3 children?" yes and yes. I am DOING a lot these days, life is full and busy, a bit crazy most days, but in the bigger scheme of things I really wouldn't have it any other way. The days pass quickly, the nights even quicker, they seem to have gotten shorter since Elsie was born.
When I talk about life with 3, I inevitably share about the yin and yang of Willis, the middle child. He is sweet as can be with his little sister, adores her...... and he is spicy as can be with his big sister, enjoys pushing her buttons and her, literally. Over the course of many such conversations, it has struck me about what a gift it is to have siblings. I think most of us with siblings take it for granted that our parents gave us this gift. We have known them for most, if not all of our life, they have a similar experience growing up, and we probably drove our parents mad with our squabbling at various times.
I've been struck lately by what Willis is learning by having a big sister. He is constantly being asked to reflect on his actions (most recently kicking his sister when she wouldn't hand over something he wanted) and talk about what might have been a better choice. He's getting good about knowing what he should have done, we haven't mastered the impulse control yet. Ruby never needed this teaching, but I'm guessing that whether or not Willis had a big sister, he'd have to learn this lesson. It's just a part of the fabric he is woven from, he gets physical when he experiences what we would call a negative emotion...anger, frustration, pain, injustice...he immediately starts punching, kicking, hitting, or shoving. He can't help himself, well he can, really, but he hasn't just quite figured out how to think about it first and stop himself. He will. He's getting LOTS of practice. Elsie, on the other hand, seems to bring out the tenderness in him. He is gentle, sweet, tender with her.
For Ruby, having a little brother had taught her great negotiation and persuasion skills. She knows how he works and figures out ahead of time what might set him off, so she finds a way around his anger to get what she wants. A skill that will serve her well in life, getting her where she wants to go. She also gets to try out being a leader, teaching him, encouraging him, cheer leading for him. She's more excited about his birthday than he is. She also is learning about letting go, not attaching to prior hurts. If she didn't, I'm quite convinced, she and Willis would not be on speaking terms.
Then there is Elsie, the baby. Who knows what she is learning in the chaos and beauty of the other 2. She is loved, cherished, adored. Someone is always in her space, smiling at her, loving on her, laughing at her. She will have great self-esteem, I hope, and always feel like this amazing gift to us all that she is, well loved and treasured.
I'd like to think that a piece of what shaped me into who I am today is my siblings, those simple, yet complicated bonds formed so early on. We share in our struggles, our successes, our sorrows, our celebrations. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for giving us each other.