Compassion and Expectations

I started out on edge today, not sure why, but the morning, getting out of the house with 3 kids, going two different places, was not smooth. My 5 year old said she didn't feel good, didn't want to go to school. I sent her anyways. She was resistant through each step of the process getting ready, I had to tell her to get dressed 14 times (okay maybe 3 really) before she actually did it. My almost 3 year old changed his clothes 12 times (or maybe 1) and I felt like I was going crazy as the volume of my voice escalated with each minute. We finally made it out to the car and by that time everyone was happy.
I was headed off to yoga class, as a student, not a teacher, which is such a treat these days. I paused for a few minutes when I dropped the little two off at grandma and grandpas, taking a breather, gathering myself into a more centered space before heading to the studio.
The teacher today gave a talk on a yoga sutra (I.33) and our meditation was to breathe in compassion and breathe out expectations. Today when I arrived and settled down on my mat, I could feel in my spirit I have been off. I have been feeling on edge all week really and haven't taken the time or wasn't ready to delve into what this is about. I had an aha in the midst of inhaling compassion.
I have been beating myself up all week over an interaction I had this weekend with my brother in law. I was not my best self in it. I think sometimes when we seek to point out someone else's "faults" or what we perceive as shortcomings...its really just a reflection of ourselves. It's really just putting a mirror up and reflecting something back to ourselves that we might be struggling with or perhaps they embody a quality we wish we had and haven't done a good job of cultivating in ourselves. It dawned on me as I reclined in savasana at the end of class, my yoga today is about forgiving myself....showing myself a little bit of compassion when i don't live up to my own expectations and letting this one go.

Sutra I.33
In daily life we see people around who are happier than we are, people who are less happy. Some may be doing praiseworthy things and others causing problems. Whatever may be our usual attitude toward such people and their actions, if we can be pleased with others who are happier than ourselves, compassionate toward those who are unhappy, joyful with those doing praiseworthy things, and remain undisturbed by the errors of others, our mind will be very tranquil.

Easier said then done, eh?