I want my body back

I have 15 minutes until my son comes home from grandpa's house, I am going to try and crank this out....
I want my body back. It's kind of an odd thing to say, but I have probably said it umpteen times in the last couple of months, post pregnancy. Whose body do I think I am residing in? If it isn't mine, whose is it? Quite frankly, I'm starting to get a little irritated with myself. I am healthy, strong, agile, what is it I want? A bikini body? Don't we all.
The one thing we know is constant in life is change. We get so attached to the way things are, we begin to suffer when they change. At least that is what happens to me. I don't know if I thought once the baby popped out, magically my body would return to it's prior form, but I feel like I am a little delusional if I am thinking it is going to go back to the way it was before I had 3 babies.
I have been reading Meditations on the Mat...a book of 365 readings, simple, fairly short ones, that give me a focus for the day. I came back from my "run" today (I am not a runner, I was out for a walk, but Elsie was crying, her first time on a walk in the baby jogger, and she was not happy, and I wanted to get some exercise, you know for this body I want to exchange for another) and remembered I had not read my meditation for the day. I went to take a shower first and on my way stood naked in front of the full length mirror, marveling (with some disgust) the parts of my body where I tend to store my fat, or excess, as I like to call it. It was red, blotchy from the running, yes, just those parts. The jiggling must have got the fat all in a tizzy or something.
After my shower, I sat down and opened my book and what do you know, today's meditation is all about what to do when we find ourselves snared in a negative behavior (mine being... not embracing, loving, accepting my body). Here is the pearl of wisdom: "We do not need to enter a showdown with our self-destructive behavior, nor can we deny its existence. We must simply come to know it, and move on. We learn to focus wholeheartedly on positive behavior." Duh.
So for today, I will work on recognizing this negative self talk about the excess I feel in my body, and will replace it with doing things for my body that feel good, being grateful for what my body does for me, that it sustains another little life and that I am healthy. And tomorrow and the next day, I will remind myself, again, to focus on the positive.