Somebody fill my bucket

This day has been one of those days....yes, another one. It hasn't even been a week since the last one! I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or maybe just too early. I stayed up too late last night, didn't get enough sleep, have a sick husband, an almost 3 year old who got up in the night to pee and was covered in a rash, an almost 5 month old that got up once or twice or three times to eat, I'm in such a daze I never know, and a 5 year old that got up way too early for me and was sent back to bed by her dad and she instead came out to the couch to watch TV, unbeknown to us. When caught in the act, she said "You told me to go back to bed or find something to do, I'm just doing what you told me to do." We're in trouble when this girl gets to her teenage years.

Needless to say, I did not wake up with my A game. I am not practicing what I preach today. I'm grumpy, off center, tired, and overall just probably not the most pleasant person to be around. We have a friend that talks about life being like a bucket, we either fill up others' buckets or we empty them out and we can choose to be a bucket filler or a bucket drainer. My bucket was empty and I desperately (okay, maybe that is a BIT dramatic) needed to put some drops in my bucket.

My dear husband, home sick, suggested I take off for a bit this morning to get out of my "funk" and take a little time for myself. I found this to be quite generous since I did go out with my girlfriends last night. So, I left the little 2 with him and went to get the oil changed in my bad ass mini-van. I know, how is that having a little time for myself? Good question. It wasn't.
Before I left, I called down to the Toyota dealer to see if I could make an appointment, if they had a long wait, etc. The woman on the line said I couldn't make an appointment, but she didn't think there was much of a wait. I stopped by my husband's office to pick up his laptop and then made my way to Toyota (conveniently located across from Costco). I thought I could jolt myself out of the funk with a little retail therapy if nothing else. I pull into the Toyota service bay and the man that comes to my car window used to work at another dealership we quit going to because he seemed shady. Another drop dripped out of my bucket. He said it would be a 45 minute job, more or less. I headed off to Costco for my retail therapy, I didn't buy anything, but wandered the aisles, which was nice, wrote down a couple book titles I saw that looked appealing (and will reserve at the local library) and then checked the time. 45 minutes had passed, so I headed back in hopes my car was ready. It took me 15 minutes to find the shady guy, my bucket has a bad leak at this point, I'm pacing the customer lounge, trying to pay attention to my breath. Frankly, I didn't want to soften, to relax. I kind of wanted to be edgy. I was ready for battle, sure they were going to tell me my car needed more than an oil change.
Once I find Slim Shady, he tells me my car is just waiting to be washing. It's still another 30 minutes plus before someone comes into the lounge from the service department asking for a Ms. Westerman. (That is the name of the previous owners of the bad-ass minivan and I've really not a clue why they are asking for her.) I guess that it's me they want and finally get out of there, 1 hour and 45 minutes after I arrived. I'm grumpy at best, bitchy at worst by now.
On my drive home, I'm contemplating why I can't shake this, what is at the root of my agitation. I can't say that I ever really figured it out. What I can say, is that what got me out of it was an email from a woman that was not extraordinary, just kind, work related, and thoughtful. It had nothing to do with me. I was tempted to email her back and say she was filling my bucket, but I guessed she would not know what I was talking about, so I instead just thanked her.
I was able to teach my old Wednesday night yoga class tonight. Felt like I had my groove back, my bucket was full by the time I left and I am struck by the extremes we can flow through in one day, highs and lows, lows and highs. The beauty of it is knowing that we have to have one to have the other. I wouldn't know what it felt like to have a full bucket if it was never empty. I end the day, knowing tomorrow could bring more of the same, and just being grateful for the day, the good, the bad, and everything in between.